THE PANTAGRUEL: On Weiner

Hi folks. I'm back, briefly, with a few thoughts on Weinergate.

He's limping in the polls. The fact that's he's still in the race at all is sort of a miracle, and he's gonna have to clamp down pretty hard if he expects to really go the distance. Probably won't be able to stick it out much longer, but he's been squeezing by somehow. (Sort of a slap in the face to Thompson and de Blasio, if you ask me).

He's got his wife working the damage control shtick, but I bet she's pretty tired and wishes he would just withdraw.

With these Carlos Danger tweets, he's got a whole 'nother mess on his hands. It's gonna take more than a few squares of toilet paper to cle- 

OH FINE, ALRIGHT.

Today In Corn: "Beautiful but false in a deadly way"

What is this I don't even.

"Corn survival guide" from Target's Facebook page
h/t Simcha Fisher